Visibly Broken Read online

  Keeping my distance, I pull out, following her to the next location. We stop on East River Drive. She repeats the same process of sitting still and watching. I can’t figure out what she’s watching. The upscale neighborhood is quiet.

  My mind goes over why she would be here. I come up empty.

  We aren’t here nearly as long before she pulls off again. We stop next at Wesley Drive. I immediately know who lives across the street from where she has parked.

  Gavin Waters is a shrewd businessman with an appetite for the finer things in life. He also goes so far back with my dad he’s my damn godfather.

  It’s not long before the man I have known my entire life comes out in jeans and a polo shirt with his hair styled in this shaggy way that is the polar opposite of his usual slicked-back business look. His Lexus backs out, and I am shocked when Lorraine—or I guess I should call her Heidi since she’s in the getup—pulls out, following him.

  Five blocks later, he parks his car and moves into a waiting cab. I know the routine well. This is how you make sure you aren’t tied to The Lion’s Den when you are a married man.

  I shake my head, trying to shake off the thoughts of a man who is like a second father to me spending time in a kink club. The times I have been in the club my mind was never focused on the male patrons. He could have walked right by me and I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

  Without missing a beat, she follows the cab. We seem to have come full circle as I follow her into the parking garage for The Den. Now it makes sense. She was watching him that night. That’s why she was distracted. Lucky for me, he didn’t spot me.

  Disgust hits me like a punch in the gut. No way is this beautiful woman going to this club for a slimy bastard like Waters. He is as much a monster as my father.

  I slam my hand down on my steering wheel. Shit, I fucked her like a damn whore when I knew it wasn’t her kind of kink. It showed.

  I fucking knew it.

  Why did she go inside? Why did she let me fuck her? She got off, so I know she enjoyed it, but why go through with it?

  More than anything, I can’t stop thinking, Why come back?

  My anger boils over when she climbs out of her car in black, peep-toed hooker heels, fluffing her hair and adding more makeup. She starts to make her way over to the club as I park and jump out of my car, following her.

  My phone rings. Seeing it’s Missy, I ignore the call, not having time for her bullshit right now.

  Anger runs through my veins. Is there one woman in my life who won’t fucking play games?

  Lo knows what this place is. She knows what people come here for. If that’s what she wants, then I will be the one to give it to her. Me, my inner asshole screams. It will be me who gives it to her, not some bastard playing games his wife won’t play because he doesn’t have the balls or the talent to give his woman what she needs first. She came here tonight dressed to play. Well, then game fucking on.

  “Lo,” I start but stop myself. “Heidi,” I call out, and she stops.

  My Internet search said the Boschs were parents to twin girls: Heidi and Lorraine. Hi and Lo. If only they knew just how different their two girls would turn out when they named them in such a way.

  Reaching her, I guide her by the arm to the alley beside the club. Her eyes grow wide in fear, and I am conflicted.

  The dark hair, the red lips, the tight clothes—they make my dick hard. At the same time, they make me angry.

  “You come here to be fucked like a whore?” I growl, angry at myself, angry at her, angry at the fucking world.

  She licks her lips, and I crash my mouth to hers. What was meant to diffuse the situation and keep her from going inside after that bastard turns into something so much more. Somehow, the tables turn, and she takes as much as I give her, moaning for more.

  She bites my bottom lip when I try to pull away. With my body against hers, pinned to the brick wall, I rock my erection into her belly. I fight not to tear her clothes off and take her like a wild animal. She makes me crazy.

  “Feel me, Hi,” I whisper, and she moans again. “Is this what you came here for?” I swear she purrs. “You want cock? You want my dick so deep inside you it’s almost as if you can feel me in your throat?”

  She doesn’t answer verbally. She nods, biting her bottom lip.

  Not good enough. I want the words.

  She pulls at my neck, but I hold back. Then she traces the snake.

  “You want Cobra?” I ask. If she’s going to play this twisted game, I will give her the monster inside me. In the moment it’s not about Hi or Lo or anything in between, it’s us and I’ll take her as she is right here, right now.

  “I want you.” She looks up at me with lust in her blue eyes.

  I crash my mouth onto hers and grab the back of her thighs as she wraps her legs around me. Thank fuck she’s in a skirt.

  Hoisting her up, I rub her pussy with my hand as I unbutton my jeans, releasing my cock. I love the feel of her soaking wet silk panties against the roughness of my skin.

  I don’t think, and I don’t stop as she rocks on my hand, soaking it with her juices as she looks for release. I don’t wait. I push her panties to the side and slam into her.

  She arches, hitting the back of her head on the unforgiving wall as I pound into her. In and out, in and out, I slide as she claws at me for more.

  Leaning down, I bite her neck, making her cry out as she goes still, tightening against me.

  “Cooobra.” She trembles as her orgasm starts.

  Her body shakes around me while I keep going. In and out, I slide as she rides through the aftershocks, her inner pussy muscles contracting around me.

  After a few more thrusts, I go off inside her. I don’t even give a fuck about the risks.

  “Hear me now, Hi, and let’s be clear. It’s my come inside you. It’s me who’s marked you. You’re not walking into that club.” I run my nose along her jaw and down her neck, inhaling and exhaling deeply. I feel the goosebumps erupt on her skin, and it turns me on again. “I don’t give a shit what Waters is up to. While my jizz drips out of your hot cunt, you’re going to be with me. After I get you cleaned up, it’s me you’ll still be with. While we figure out whatever fucking game you’re playing with me and with yourself, it’s me you’re going to be with.”

  Lost in her post-orgasm emotions, she nods her head as I slowly set her legs down. She’s unsteady, so I guide her back to my car. She doesn’t fight me, doesn’t argue. She moves with me like she wants this as much as I do, and I thank fuck for that.

  I will get Brock to pick her ride up later. For now, we have shit to sort out, and it needs to be sorted immediately. I’m not a methodical man. I take life as it comes at me. But this Hi/Lo insanity needs resolution. If she can’t fight for it, I will.

  Chapter 13

  Lo

  The wild abandon with which he took me outside the club rocks me to the depths of my soul. I knew when Waters switched to the cab, I shouldn’t follow. I know what the club is about. Yet, I came anyway. It’s a sickness the way finding their killer has consumed me. The lengths I have gone to in order to survive this mess both mentally and physically are beyond any definition of insane. The only way to do this is to become someone else. Heidi deserves retribution and becoming her gives her that.

  Somehow, Jason sees through it all. He sees me. Somehow, this man who calls himself Cobra can read me like a book. Somehow, I have allowed myself to get into his truck and ride with him—home. Only he doesn’t take us to my home like I expect. Silently, I allow him to take me and the craziest parts of me say I would follow him anywhere. I don’t even know why.

  As soon as we walk into his room, he turns and pulls the wig off me then drags me into the bathroom.

  “Sit,” he says. He is so angry, so very angry, so I do as he asks.

  He turns his back to me and grabs a washcloth then turns on the water. “Why the fuck do you do that?” he grumbles. “Why fucking go there?” He wrings
out the washcloth and squats down to wash my face. “You hide your face, hide behind a wig, behind too much fucking makeup, and go there looking to get fucked! Wasn’t the doctor’s son enough for you? Don’t answer that. I know it wasn’t. You need to be fucked like a whore by a real man.”

  He is angrier than I have ever seen anyone.

  “Don’t even try to deny it. I saw it with my own eyes,” he continues. “The way he looked at you, and you looked at him. He’s fucked that tight little cunt of yours. He fucking thinks he owns it. You and I both know better. He doesn’t satisfy your craving. He can’t fuck you hard enough, can he?”

  “It’s not what you think,” I whisper as tears start to fall.

  “Oh, no? You gonna lie to me now?”

  I shake my head, and he stands up, crossing his arms in front of himself and looking down at me.

  “Then fucking tell me how it is!”

  “He loved her!” I yell at him. “He loved her and missed her, and so did I. I would never—” I stop, because it’s not true. I did. I did! “Yes! Yes, I slept with him, but it wasn’t me. It wasn’t truly me!”

  “Oh, fuck!” he roars, throwing his hands in the air, acting as if the entire world has just exploded. “Just how fucked up are you? Tell me, are you bipolar, schizophrenic, or just so fucked up you don’t even know the truth!”

  “He was fucking her! He was fucking me, all the while pretending it was her.” I stand and point at him. “I don’t expect you to understand it. It’s wrong. It was so very wrong, but it happened, okay? It happened, and there isn’t anything I can do to change it!”

  I feel my body shake and my stomach twists in a knot. I have never talked about it, never told anyone. Now that I have, it’s even more real and upsetting.

  “Did you fuck him tonight?” he snaps, balling his fists at his sides.

  “I’m gonna be sick,” I say, turning around and dropping to my knees in front of the toilet.

  I throw up over and over. Nothing but liquid comes out. Nothing has been in my stomach all day.

  When I finish, I lean back on my heels and see a washcloth in front of my face.

  “When’s the last time you showered?” he snaps.

  “Yesterday morning,” I answer, wiping the refreshing, cool cloth over my face.

  I hear the water in the tub start.

  “Get in.”

  “I just want to sleep,” I say, holding my stomach.

  “Get. In.” He is already lifting me, his hands under my arms.

  “Let go!” I yell as I try to fight my way out of his arms. “Dammit!”

  I throw up again.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  “I warned you!” I cry, pulling my knees to my chest as he still holds me up.

  I feel him pull the waistband of my skirt and underwear down, and then they are off. He sets me in the tub none too gently then pulls my shirt over my head and yanks my bra off.

  “You’re such an ass,” I grumble, pulling my knees to my chest and covering my body.

  “And you stink,” he sneers as he grabs a towel and wipes up the floor. Then I hear him stomp out of the bathroom, and the door shuts to the outside.

  I quickly dunk my head under the water and grab the two-in-one shampoo then wash my hair, scrubbing vigorously. I then lie back and rinse my hair, submerging my head completely, wishing I didn’t have to come back up, wishing I could just stay here in the weightless state. I think of the past five years and what I have become: nothing.

  He pulls me up by my arm. “What the hell are you doing?”

  I yank my arm away and wait for him to yell at me. I want him to yell at me. I want him to run from my insanity, but I don’t want to lose him. I want him to fight me and then for me. Instead, he steps back.

  “You need to calm the fuck down,” he says in a low grumble.

  “You need to walk out of here and let me finish,” I say just as quietly.

  He nods once then walks out.

  I wash my body in privacy, taking my time doing so. It has been years since I soaked in a bath. I can’t honestly remember the last time I felt safe enough to do so. While away at college, I lived in the safety of numbers and the chaos that is college. I showered during busy times so that I knew the bathrooms would be full, and I wouldn’t be alone and afraid.

  I look up when I sense he is watching me.

  “You’re taking a long damn time in here. Just making sure you’re okay.”

  I lean against the side of the tub, covering myself as much as I can. “I’m fine. I just…” I pause and gather my thoughts. “I forgot how much I enjoy baths.”

  He looks at me and nods. “You need clothes.” He holds up a T-shirt and a pair of shorts then sets them on the counter.

  “Thank you, Jason.”

  He nods again. “It’s late.”

  “I’ll get dressed, and then I guess I could walk—”

  “Did you fuck him today?” he interrupts.

  I shake my head.

  He runs his hand through his hair. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure,” I answer, setting my forehead on the cold porcelain tub.

  “My cock was the only one inside of you today?” he asks in a rumble.

  I peer up at him. “Yes.”

  He pulls his shirt over his head swiftly and pushes his pants down before stepping out of them. He then steps toward me. “I need a shower. You need to get out and get dressed. Then get your ass to bed. I’m done tonight. Tomorrow, this shit gets sorted.”

  I dress quickly, deciding to leave while he showers. Facing the night is less scary than facing him right now. I have a task to complete, a job to do. I can’t have him involved or in the way. I know how this ends, and then, and only then, will I feel safe again. Then, and only then, will I forgive myself for being late.

  After quickly dressing, I reach out and slowly open the door to leave. A large hand reaches from behind me and slams it shut.

  “Bed,” he sneers.

  “You don’t want me here. I’m no good for you,” I say without turning around.

  “I’m not letting you leave tonight. I need sleep; you need sleep. I want to know what the hell the angel from the ER with the blue eyes who helped me needs in order to stop being the bad girl sneaking around at night and letting bad men fuck her—fuck you.

  “You like it hard, don’t you? Are you a whore, Lo? Are you a slut? How many men have been inside that tight, little pussy of yours?” His hand wraps around me and pulls me against his rock-hard body. “I’m a bad man. None of that shit matters to a bad man.”

  His lips push against mine as his hand flattens and runs down my belly inside the shorts he gave me. “Tell me, do you like to be tied up, spanked, fucked until you can’t walk, fucked in the ass?”

  I shake my head as his hand cups my flesh, and he presses his palm against me.

  “No? I find that hard to believe.” He pulls his hand out of the shorts and spins me around. “Tell me how you like it.”

  I shrug and look down. “I don’t know.”

  He lifts my chin up and searches my face. “You aren’t hiding behind that fucking makeup and wig, Lo. Tell me how you like to be fucked. Tell me how the doctor’s son made you come and how all those boys from high school and college chasing you around fucked you.”

  I close my eyes and swallow as I shake my head again.

  “Open those blue eyes, look at me, and tell me the truth.”

  Slowly, I open my eyes, but I can’t speak when his intense, heat-filled green eyes are searching mine.

  “Tell. Me.”

  I shrug and pull my face away. “Ryan was the first.”

  “So twins really do share everything, huh?” he growls.

  I don’t like what he implies.

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Then tell me how it was.”

  “It was after her…after she…” I can’t say it. “He needed her, and so did I.” I push past him when he looks co
nfused. “I already told you that.”

  He grips my hips and spins me around again. I glance up into intense, angry eyes.

  “No one before him?”

  I shake my head.

  “I keep telling myself to walk away. Thoughts of you suck me right back in. I don’t know what to do with you,” Jason growls and I remain speechless. I don’t know what to do with me, either.

  He pulls the shirt over my head then bends down, taking my breast in his mouth as he slides his hands down the back of the shorts, pushing them off. He then cups my ass and lifts me. I grip his muscular shoulders, holding on for fear I will fall, as he walks us to the bed and leans down, lowering me until I am lying under him and staring up into his eyes.

  “No one before him?” he asks, and I shake my head again. “I am sorry, Lo. I’m sorry for what you have gone through, and I should be sorry for what I am about to do to you, but I’m not. Not one bit.”

  His lips touch mine less harshly than before, but his groan is no less harsh, maybe even more so.

  Without moving away, he says, “Open.” And I do.

  His mouth surrounds mine, and he sucks before pushing his tongue inside, stroking mine slowly up and down. He cups my face, his calloused thumb stroking my cheek sweetly, yet its roughness is still there. His chest rises and falls against mine before he slowly pulls away from our kiss, his kiss. He kisses my lips and moves down my jaw, my neck, and then he is hovering over me, surrounding my nipple with his mouth. My back arches against him, and I cry out from the pleasure that soars through me.

  He reaches between us and pushes my legs apart before he cups me, his fingers running up and down the outside of my sex, teasing, tormenting. I raise my hips up to meet his hand while he sucks hard, tugging on my breast then letting it fall out of my mouth with a pop.

  “You smell so damn good.” He groans before taking my other breast in his mouth as he pushes a finger inside of me.

  “Jason,” I cry out.

  “Mmm,” he moans, sucking harder and harder on my nipple as he moves his finger very slowly in and out of me. “I can’t wait to taste you.” That said, he starts kissing down my body. The sensations of his soft lips and the scratch of his scruff contradict each other. It feels so very good.